It’s been two weeks since the birth of our beautiful son. I wish I could I say it has been a time of total happiness, joy and pride. There has been moments of joy but there have also been moments of fear, anxiety and hopelessness. Why does no one tell you it can be so incredibly hard at times? Why does no one talk about the baby blues? Tears of joy and of frustration?
Our baby is petty awesome, he doesn’t really cry and sleeps a great deal and I can say the wonderful moments outnumber the hard moments. However I’m going to list the good and the bad for a realistic idea of what the first two weeks with a baby is like.
Good: you spend 9 long months waiting and hoping for a healthy baby and when the day finally arrives you are totally amazed and in awe of your baby when you see him. It’s totally surreal.
Bad: you spend 2 and a half years trying to have a baby thinking your life can only be happier and more complete with a baby. Miracles happen, you become pregnant and then finally the baby arrives and you get the baby blues for days. (Baby blues = uncontrollable crying for days for no reason. If anybody offers help you break down a little more.)
Good: C-Section. I had prepped and put myself in the right headspace for the op. I knew I had to be fit beforehand to recover well. I must say it has been really easy. I had an operation to remove a huge ovarian cyst 10 years ago, so I already have had an op similar to c- section (yes the cyst was HUGE) and a scar and know what to expect. The C-section was easier than the cyst operation!
Bad: C-section. I can’t drive or start proper exercise yet :(. You still bleed like a natural birth too. Who knew?!
Good: A supportive husband who is totally on your side and we make the best team ever to look after our son. How do single mums cope? I’m in awe of them.
Bad: your husband goes back to work and you are alone for many long hours of stroller rocking and cleaning.
Good: having a baby that feeds well.
Bad: Trying your hardest to breastfeed and the baby won’t have it. I can pump but it’s not the same. Trying to find 20 minutes and two spare hands to pump has been a nightmare. I have had multiple people try to help with BF tips but with no success. I’m still trying every now and then but I fear I’m losing this battle. It is so funny, the baby gets his angry face on and then determinedly sucks in his bottom lip and won’t budge!
Good: You know your life is going to change to a 3 hour schedule. So you are ready for the ‘change, eat, sleep repeat’ routine. There is a quiet satisfaction, when you pull this routine off with precision!
Bad: You are pumped for a good ‘change, eat, sleep’ session. However, you feel bad for waking the baby after he is finally sleeping soundly, he has the fiddliest rompers on that take forever to unsnap. He is screaming now with your cold hands pulling his legs out of the warm and cozy rompers. He has that thick yellow eggy like poo that won’t wipe off with wipes. When you finally have his bum clean he manages to wee all over your face and the clothes he is wearing. You have to find a new set of clothes that fit long legs and a small top! ( impossible!)
Good: Tips that have worked for me: read ‘Attachment Parenting’ by William Sears. He also wrote ‘the baby book’. This is fantastic and reinforces some of my intuitive feelings to raising a baby. I also tried not to be so stubborn and accepted all help that was offered. People are wonderful !
Bad: learning to let go of my planning obsession. It is ok to rock a stroller/bassinet for 1 hour and do nothing else. It took me a week to accept this. It’s ok that things are not going to a plan in my head!
Good. My in laws are fantastic at helping us.
Bad: My family live on the other side of the world and I miss them but it is only 9 weeks until we visit them!
It is true your life totally changes once you have a baby and the adjustment to my new life has been difficult. However, it is getting better every day and I love my son unconditionally. I love saying ‘my son’. It’s kind of like getting married and having to get used to ‘my husband’! Amazing !