Feeling pressure to look a certain kind of pregnant.

After years of trying to fall pregnant and finally succeeding, I should be feeling ecstatic all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I totally understand the miracle growing inside of me and I am super grateful for this experience but I have noticed that people/society have expectations of what pregnant women should look like and I am starting to get confused!lFor weeks I did not have a bump. I had a ‘no bump’ until 18-19 weeks. You wouldn’t think I was pregnant unless you noticed the weight gain and thought that I was packing it on around the hips and chest. Unfortunately I wasn’t the blessed shape of carrying high and frontwards. (a girl apparently). I get the feeling that people were wondering if I really were pregnant! This is my 5th pregnancy and the first to make it past 14 weeks and I guess if you know that then this could lead you to think the worst about my ‘no bump’.

That’s cool I’m happy I didn’t have to buy super expensive maternity clothes until this week.

Now at 25 weeks I have a bump but it is still not the small perfect basketball I fear people expect to see. In fact it looks like I’m wearing a fanny pack under my top. I now have a ‘side bump’! As I walk around the office I notice people talking to my bump, not my face. I wonder if they are analyzing where it is growing or if they are just interested in it growing?

Apparently this is not obvious to strangers. 2 days ago I was standing on a packed train, exhausted from the day and no one offered me their seat. I even patted my bump just to make it a little more obvious. Can’t y’all see a poor pregnant lady just desperate for a seat?? More blank and see through stares from the passengers. This type of look is perfected by train passengers! After 20 minutes one guy turned and saw me and offered me his seat. I nearly cried in appreciation. They should have those pregnancy badges here in Holland!  

Each time I get up from the couch/bed my husband exclaims how big I am. ‘Imagine what you will look like in a couple of months.’ Thanks ‘Big’ is what I want to hear. But how can I be big and no one on the train notices I’m pregnant? Then I saw a photo posted by a midwife on face book , it was a sign outside a café in the UK that read:

If you see a pregnant woman, don’t tell her she is big, tell her she looks beautiful.

This caused a lot of mixed comments and I noticed the post was taken down! I was fascinated by them all. Quite frankly I’m bloody grateful to look ‘Big’. I was even super stoked when one of the ladies at work so expressively said, “I can see, I can see now, you look.. ‘ she then did her best imitation of a puffy fish.  

Thank you world, I am grateful to look puffy, bloated and big -with a side bump.  

 

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