I was reading another post by another fellow blog-ee Nara*, and started thinking about my current philosophy my husband and I are actively practicing.
I don’t know when we started doing it but I guess it was a sort of reaction to a series of shitty events. I was struggling to understand why so many bad things can happen to one couple and not to others.
I remember a friend saying the same thing, she was going through a horrible divorce with an ex who was in and out of rehab, she found out she had cancer and was dealing the fact that treatment would mean infertility.
At the time I didn’t understand the magnitude of hopelessness she felt and hoped it was ‘luck-thing’ and hoped her luck would change as she deserved much better from life. Fast forward a few years and after 4 miscarriages I was asking the same questions.
Amongst the hopelessness, I kind of hoped that if we continued to be happy and do nice things for others than the universe will give back to us. Karma, Christian charity, whatever you want to call it, I hoped that if we gave ‘good’ out, then we would get ‘good’ back.
Now that I am pregnant, random acts of kindness are becoming more frequent on our part because in a strange way I think this will help me have a healthy baby.
The other day we were giving our solarium away. (don’t judge me, I live in a country with minimal sun). A man and his son came to collect it because, they take it to the dump to get the 11 cents per kilo for the material. They had 4 solariums on their trailer. After chatting we found out the wife was an alcoholic, the man couldn’t work due to injury, the teenage daughter was pregnant and they did this for a living to get money. We ended up giving them the entire contents of the spare bedroom and some clothes and shoes.
The next day I bought the company driver a coffee. He said it was the first time someone had bought him one in 6 years. I felt guilty, we had all assumed he didn’t really want one each time he joked “where’s my coffee?”
Call it Karma but on the same day as the coffee kindness act, our Dutch IVF doctor called and said she would try to help us get the insurance money back for IVF. We had kind of resigned ourselves to the fact that the insurance company wouldn’t cover us for IVF due to a very confusing policy. (I think due to the PGD part of the IVF.) Anyway, the doctor who previously sent us away in tears twice, said she would be delighted to help us and she will try to dispute their science and policy as she said all insurance companies try it on her patients! WTF?? Karma? Whatever, we’ll take it! I hope the good doctor is blessed!
Note: My friend that was asking those questions is now with an awesome guy, they have twins (egg donor), still dealing with the divorce but I’m sure the universe will be kind and finish it soon!
*Nara, the blog is from zero to zygote, but I didn’t add the link because I dont know how!